The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish (2024)

What begins as a sad story becomes a warped and twisted one. And it’s intense.

Marianne, a mother, is the centre of the universe for her 2 teen daughters, Mae & Edie. But when she attempts suicide, the girls are forced to move in with their estranged father. The story is told from multiple POV’s -each voice distinctive in their own perceptions of what they've witnessed in this dysfunctional family.

This is about mental illness and abuse- how they become entwined; the victims; the social injustices - the obvious ones but also the hidden ones; the betrayals from the ones who should have been the most trustworthy.

The prose is beautiful and poetic; the subject is brutal and raw. A debut from 2018 that flew under the radar. Clearly an author to watch for (Apekina has a new release coming out this year!)

Thank you to my GR friends who brought this one to my attention although I’m now emotionally drained.
5⭐️

Obsession. Madness. Catharsis by fire. This is one of the darkest, most gorgeous books I’ve read in years - I truly hope it gets the literary attention it deserves. The title initially piqued my interest, then the blurb sold me. I rarely jump at a newly published debut but in this case, I’m glad I followed my instincts.

This book is deep. It is charged. It is uncomfortable and mucky. It is also impressive and addictive and thought provoking. Raised in Louisiana by their mother and sent as teens to live in New York City with their estranged father, sisters Edith and Mae are battered by the relentless psychoses of their parents, Marianne and Dennis. As the girls’ lives unfold through alternating first-person voices, we see the vast differences in their personalities and their needs and their allegiances. Each has her own perception of reality and her own way of dealing with the fallout. And the fallout is everywhere they turn. We also see the chasm, deeper than their age difference, develop between Marianne and Dennis: “It was after Marianne came to New York that Dennis began writing in earnest. The more he wrote the more dazed and uncertain she seemed. He was an emotional vampire. He needed her to be in a certain state to be his muse.” Along for this gritty ride are several unforgettable side characters: Rose, the girls’ aunt; Doreen, Marianne’s closest friend; Amanda, Dennis’s girlfriend; Charlie, Edith’s new friend; and Cronus, the cat.

From NPR’s review: “The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish resembles a Southern Gothic novel — but with a contemporary twist . . . It's a stunningly accomplished book, and Apekina isn't afraid to grab her readers by the hand and take them to some very dark and very beautiful places.” She actually grabbed me by the throat, and the heart . . . this story will haunt me for quite a while. 5 unputdownable stars.

Ruthlessly gothic, but with just a dash of Jodi-Picoult-like familial feeling so that the story became somehow all the more troubling than if it had been purely gothic.

The novel reminded me of the magnificently terrifying horror film "Hereditary," which like this novel also features an artist-parent who tortures her children, plus a smidge of self-immolation.

But because this novel comes to me outside of a tidy genre framework, and because it just barely nudges into a "maybe this could happen in the real world" space, I found the story unusually disturbing. It's in something of an 'uncanny valley' for me. If the novel were pure genre then its excesses would be easier to predict. But the novel instead asks me to feel real feelings, for situations that aren't terribly realistic, and as a result it was an upending, entirely unique reading experience.

5*⭐⭐
I'd be fibbing if I said that the title of this book didn't draw me in. It's a bold title and it delivers with style. Ostensibly a book about mental health, it begins with 16yr old Edie and 14yr old Mae being sent to live with
their estranged father (he lives in New York, they were raised in Louisiana ) after their mother unsuccessfully tries to commit suicide. It's awkward, clever, funny, the humour is dark and delicious, a psychological and emotional clusterf*ck. A pebble being dropped into a lake and all the ripples that follow. It's about two teenage sisters with dysfunctional parents, trying to grow up, and their interpretation of events past and present. Switching from first person narratives, multiple people tell the story, or their version of it. There's a lot of plate spinning going on - madness, racism, grooming, stalking. If I was a student of Carl Jung I would be able to give a far better analysis.
An absolute joy to read, possibly my favourite book this year, Katya Apekina is a name to be remembered .

This story opens with two teenage daughters, Edie and Mae, moving from Louisiana to New York to stay with their absent father, Dennis. This, following a suicide attempt by their mother, Marianne. Fourteen-year-old Mae is thrilled to be with Dad. However, Edie, the tricky sixteen-year-old, would rather stay back home to be close to her mum, who is in a psychiatric hospital. Edie cannot stand her Dad.

This story is about relationships. Toxic relationships. For example, Dennis (Dad) used Marianne (Mum) as his muse for his writing, so much so that he literally sucked the life force out of this hapless woman – and created an empty shell, a crazy woman – who lost herself completely. Then he left her and the kids. Dennis was and is a narcissistic bastard, and he made a habit of using people for his art. Something he was to repeat with friends and even one of his daughters. Marianne – due to her state of mind and behaviour - was impossible to live with, destroying relationships with family and friends, to the point of extinguishing any sympathy that may have been there initially. Despite that, I really felt for her.

The two sisters, constantly fought, jealousy seemed to define their relationship, not helped by Mae being ‘pro-Dad’ and Edie being ‘pro-Mum.’ However, Mum seemed to favour Mae, and Edie spent her time trying to win her Mum’s affection. Do you get the picture? It's not an uncommon theme, perhaps?

There are numerous characters in this story – Dennis’ sister Rose, who is clearly not a fan of Marriane. The power of attorney of Marianne, an old family friend – who is clearly ‘over her,’ love interest of Edie Charlie – a neighbour of Dad (oh she also has Marcus), Dennis’ new beau Amanda – who’s definitely ‘one beer short of a six-pack’…….and others.

The story moves backwards and forwards in time from the civil rights movement in the 1960s – when Dennis and Marianne first met (they were really in love), to the 1990s and later. The author moves between characters using first-person narration. This made the whole deal more intimate, visceral even. I loved this – I was hooked from the very first page. I could not stop thinking about the characters. How can one not? Jumping in and out of the skin of all these characters.

My word, there were dramas. Ugly fish abound.

If you are after jealousy, toxic relationships, family dramas, madness, suicide, narcissism, sex scenes, and a handful of bombshell happenings – this one is for you!

A word on my buddy reader, she made this 5-star read even more enjoyable for me. I loved (and was embarrassed by…) the way she thought about plotlines I was incapable of conjuring up myself, she fired some great questions around too, she was ‘all-in’ and got excited, and we had a laugh – thanks Antoinette!

5 Stars

Update, June 2021:

This was one of my top five books for 2019, and shortly after that initial read, I was so enamored of it, I led a group read of it for one of my GR groups - and most everyone there loved it and gave it 5 stars also. I encouraged my BFF (of 46 years and counting) to read it, but she DNF'd it back then on her first attempt - but said she'd give it another try if I'd buddy read it with her - hence this revisit now. Happy to say, I still REALLY enjoyed it (as is she now) - and with my 'mind like a sieve' much of it was fresh to me. There is something just so compelling to me about the story and characters, I loved the multiple POVs, and I can't think of any other book that has done this better. Entreat any of you who haven't done so yet to get your hands on it ASAP - and can not wait for Apekina to publish her second novel.

Original review, Feb. 2019: My first 5 star review of 2019 - and even though we're barely into February, this may prove to be my favorite book of the year - it will definitely be in my top 5. Astonishingly assured for a debut novel, it falls into none of the traps usually encountered by such. The structure is unique, the characters all unusual and compelling, the plot weaves back and forth in time with over 20 different narrators, yet one never loses track of where one is, or what is happening. Much like my favorite book of 2016, Adam Haslett's Imagine Me Gone, this is a harrowing view into how one member's mental illness affects an entire family and assorted friends and strangers.

Fun fact : this has exactly one page more than that execrable piece of excrement Milkman, and whereas that took ten torturous days for me to get through its mind numbing awfulness, this took me a day and a half. Enough said.

I am not going to attempt to write a review for this one…but it was dark… disturbing… yet beautiful.
Thank you Diane Barnes who recently brought this book back to my attention!

Read my goodreads friend Cathrine’s review… I think it is excellent!

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Also Dave’s review:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

I'm finally back to this book after including it in a book speed dating episode of the podcast last November. It had been long enough that I started over from the beginning.

It is difficult to express how much this book will suck you in, and how good it is, and then to remember it is a debut! I can't wait to see what she does next.

Marianne is the single mother of two girls - Edie (16) and Mae (14.) After the older daughter saves her mother from a suicide attempt, both girls go live with the father they've never known in New York. The chapters rotate between characters, and at first that's just the daughters and mother. But as more characters come into the story, they start getting added to the mix, sometimes before you understand the role they play. I love alternating narratives, and enjoyed the spin the author took on them in this case. Most of those point-of-view chapters are in the time period of the suicide attempt but occasionally there will be artifacts from the past, like a letter, newspaper article, or psychiatrist notes from an earlier time (the 1960s when their parents met, or the 1980s when the mother had her first psychotic break.) And then an even more occasional chapter comes from someone in the present day rather than the 1990s where most of the novel takes place, adding some perspective as an adult.

I think part of what I liked about this novel is that I didn't always know where it was going. You think it's a story about one thing and one set of characters but it changes as it goes on, and the additional information you get as a reader adds a spin to what you thought you knew.

I appreciated how the daughters have had such different experiences with their mother, despite the very close age difference. This is an important and well-observed distinction that matters from the first page to the last. This gave them reasons to want different things and to act entirely different from one another.

Just excellent and scratches that itch I've had since Black Wave, although in subtler ways.

A mother’s suicide attempt causes two young teenage daughters to reunite with their estranged father. So much is uncovered during this time where history is reevaluated and each character is affected in their own unique way.

This book is DEEPLY complex. With mental health playing a major factor in the murkiness of the all the relationships. The relationship between Mae and her father in particular is disturbing and unsettling. Nuanced with tender violence, what transpires quickly becomes a sickening kind of love. Mae becomes so infatuated with winning her father’s attention and love, she slowly tries to morph into her mother’s image, her idolisation of her father really becomes a fixation that leads to disastrous consequences. Meanwhile Edith’s denial of her mother’s mental issues undermines her ability to connect with those trying to support her, she maintains an image of her mother that compromises her own stability. The sister’s bond is tested and friction between the two adds another layer to the families complexities. There is so much depth and emotion in this book. It isn’t the easiest of reads due to the difficult subject matter but it was a book that feels so raw and intricate with side plots that really help develop each character beautifully. The book really shows you the strength of familial bonds despite all the flaws and fragility that those bonds are built upon. The deep psychological scars that each child carries when one or both parents are deeply impacted with mental health problems. This book is pure art and it’s perfect in its portrayal of a seriously imperfect family. Hats off this is a truly awe inspiring and original debut from a very promising new author.

I have to agree with Howard on this one.....it's complexity prevents me from writing a review. It is ugly and dark and deep, but like Cormac McCarthy, the author makes it a beautiful thing. It took phenomenal skill on Apekina's part to pull this off in a debut novel. There were only 3 characters in this novel that were even remotely able to deal with reality, and I clung to them like a life raft. The title is brilliant, by the way.

Wow! What a book! This book starts with a bang and never, never lets up. I felt like I was gripped by the madness within these pages. I had to put it down at times because it was so emotionally exhausting.

Briefly, this book is about a dysfunctional family. We meet sisters Edith (Edie) and Mae, just after their mother, Marianne, has attempted to kill herself. While Marianne is in hospital, the girls- Edie is 16, Mae is 14- are sent to live with their absent father in NYC.

The book is told in multiple POV’s- firstly Edie and Mae and then Dennis, their father and numerous other secondary characters who figure in their lives. Through the alternating POV’s, we get a clear picture on their feelings and relationship with their mother and then their father. With any family, no one necessarily sees eye to eye on everything. The sisters definitely do not. Life can be extremely brutal especially if one is dealing with a parent with a mental illness. But as the book went on, there were so many red flags- I couldn’t decide if there was even one normal person amongst them all. This is a very dark, intense book!

I was amazed at the writing- never once did the author falter. If you like to read books that cause you to have a visceral reaction, then read this one. It’s been hard to let go of this one- especially that ending!!!

I found this to be the most perfect line and summation of dealing with a ill parent:

“Her mother’s suffering was so huge it was like its own person: it needed to be constantly fed and tended to.”

Lastly, the title of this book is dead solid perfect. Had to sit with it when I finished the book, but once it comes to you, you will nod at its brilliance!

Many thanks to my buddy reader- Mark P. He brought humour into our discussion and insightful comments that had me thinking even more deeply. I loved the lightening round of questions he devised at the end of our discussion. The best way for us to end our discussion. So much darkness in this book, it was good to have Mark shine some light!!

Published: 2018

This is the second book I’ve read from independent publisher Two Dollar Radio and both are excellent. With the first, The Word for Woman is Wilderness, the only criticism I had was it seeming too long at points. This novel was just right, one I hated to see end, though the ending was perfect.

I ordered the book after reading Howard’s and his friends’ reviews. The clinching detail for my excitement about reading it right away was Howard’s mentioning it being partly set in Metairie—the next-door New Orleans suburb I was raised in, from the age of four or five through my high-school years. Our two-bedroom house in New Orleans, just over the 17th Street Canal from the newly built one, was already too small for a family with three children, much less the fourth that was on the way. Based on the colloquial name of one street (the other Metairie street names are fictional), I’d guess the sisters of this novel grew up near the border of New Orleans too, but on the other side of the interstate, also mentioned. I could write more on this, but it’s already irrelevant.

The title is intriguing. I kept waiting for it to show up in the text, but its meaning is obvious and becomes clearer, the “deeper” the story goes. It might seem a writer’s trick to forgo a third-person omniscient viewpoint to tell the story through several voices, but it works, even if some of the voices don’t seem that much different from others. At times the book reads as if some of the characters were interviewed for a documentary and the filmmaker has smoothed out their voices. (That’s not a criticism.) Exceptions are the letters of two men, a Q&A with one of them, and the writings of the sisters’ mother.

One sister tells her story in the past tense, as an adult—as a young teen, she wouldn’t have had the vocabulary. The older sister tells her side in the present of 1997, giving it immediacy and suspense, qualities that kept me turning the pages. Apekina is a master of pacing and, fittingly, she’s also a screenwriter.

At a few points I thought of Moira Crone’s The Ice Garden, also the story of a mentally ill mother, a selfish father, and two sisters; also a story of survival with a similar (but different) climax, though the two books are dissimilar in style.

5 🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠
A 2018 debut which obviously flew under the GR radar and easily one of my favorite books this year.
In the author’s own words:
“I was curious about how people with good or neutral intentions can still f*ck each other up. I was interested in the way people go through the same things but have completely different experiences of these things. I was curious about where in a family one person ends and another begins.”
✅ ✅ ✅
If you want more from your next book, fascinating and ever more deeper layers, I cannot praise this one enough. Not recommended on audio. Fabulous material for a meaty book discussion (thanks C).
If it was music, definitely would not make the easy listening station.
Dark, and ugly, and yet beautiful and some of the best writing one could hope for.

Following the mother’s attempted suicide, the sisters, Edith and Mae, are sent from Louisiana to New York to live with their famous novelist father. The sisters respond totally differently to the move and the rift between them widens. The novel examines various relationships in depth, mainly within families, fathers and daughters, mothers and daughters, and also between lovers, but what is always there, underpinning all of them, is the relationship between the two sisters, Edith and Mae. Through numerous first person accounts, letters, phone calls, and interviews, human ugliness is uncovered when we begin to examine those relationships closely. An interesting and enjoyable read even if I felt it lost something by having multiple narrators and stories. Certainly worth a read!

Rather than writing a review of this excellent novel, I'm going to direct you to two wonderful reviews written by my friends Wyndy and Dave Marsland, for they have said it better than I ever could.

Wyndy's review is here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Dave's review is here: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

Most readers really like this novel, and I can understand why. I had high expectations. The plot has depth, layers, but the story is easy to consume, told as an interleaving of first-person narratives; you always know who is talking and the timeframe. I liked the novel, just not as much as most. I did not find myself strongly attracted or repelled by any of the characters. This is the story of a thoroughly broken family and of the two daughters trying to survive into adulthood. I was not continually drawn back to the story to find out what happens to Edie, Mae, Marianne and Dennis. I found some of the connections between characters unsupported by history and events. The novel did make the point that often it is family that can do the most damage.

I read this back in 2019, but wanted to reread it and discuss it with a reading buddy. This was a book that stuck with me and was added to my favorites list. Upon a reread, I could concentrate more on how the author put this story together, rather than just on the gripping psychological narrative. It was just as good this second time around, and it evokes some great discussion among those who are inclined to dissect a story. Thanks, C!! It is always great fun to share the love of a good book. And I hear Apekina has a new one coming soon, which I will be looking forward to checking out. The format of this one was unique and daring and worked magnificently, in my not-so-humble opinion!

"Sometimes it feels like you and I grew up in different houses."

"It's hard sometimes to know where you end and where others begin."

These quotes are a lens into this book for me. The format of this novel moves from perspective to perspective, and bounces between the past and the present. This can often result in a disjointed read, but in this case it worked beautifully to paint a portrait of events in a variety of hues. The main perspectives are Mae and Edith, two sisters forced to suddenly go live with a father they don't know due to their mother's illness. But along the way, we also get glimpses into the memories and thoughts of other characters who have known the girls or their parents, providing additional historical strokes to the portrait. As the story unfolds, the multiple perspectives beg the question--what do we really know about each other and events? Everyone filters the actual events through their own lens of personality, mood, needs, expectations, and challenges, which results in everyone touching a different part of the elephant and thinking they have it "right".

The novel addresses some troubling themes, such as mental illness, family dysfunction, absent parents (either physically or psychologically), the nature of love and attraction, cherishing versus owning, using others for our purposes, the blurry lines between love and obsession (and lack of appropriate boundaries), and self-expression and self-identity. These heavy themes are handled in such a way that the book does not feel burdensome or overwhelming. It felt more like gently peeling layers off to reveal what festered. It was a fascinating journey.

The prose and thoughts expressed were exquisite in their simple elegance. Living in the same household with the same people does not equal having the same experiences, and this story highlights that beautifully. How we relate to each other, how our unique needs drive our behavior and interpretations is obvious throughout the novel, making the diverse paths followed understandable, even when tragic.

This book is well worth the read.

You are standing in the middle of a room. A girl approaches, presses your hand, and says, “I want to tell you a story.” She does not get very far when another girl enters from another door. She skips up, presses your other hand, and says, “Don’t listen to her. Listen to me.” Soon you are caught up in a tug-of-war, opposing versions of the same cruel story tugging you first right, then left, then right again. Your body is suspended in air, a forgotten token of their battling tales, and all the while, voices keep entering the room, commenting, taking sides, attacking, denying, or dismissing the story entirely. Thus begins Katya Apekina’s debut novel The Deeper the Water the Uglier the Fish.

After their mother, Marianne, tries to hang herself, two sisters, Edith and Mae, are sent to live with their estranged father, best-selling author Dennis Lomack, in New York. For 14-year-old Mae, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Long held captive by her mother’s mental instability, Mae is eager to live a new life in the sunlight of her father’s perfection. 16-year-old Edith is less enthused. She has never believed her baby sister’s stories of their mother’s madness—how Marianne would wake Mae in the middle of the night to tail strangers in their car or skinny dip in murky Louisiana swamps. Their life was eccentric, sure, and Edith found herself caretaking much of the time, but wasn’t it beautiful? And weren’t they responsible to put things right again? Besides, Edith tries to reason with Mae, Dennis will only leave them again. It is in his nature. At odds with the versions of their parents they have chosen, and with a tapestry of voices chiming in at every turn, the sisters choose diverging paths, leading both into devastating futures.

The Deeper the Water is largely a book about madness, populated by characters driven by their various instabilities. But it is also about truth and whose stories we allow to be told. These layered, complex characters step over each other in their attempt to right the record, and in this, Apekina poses a fundamental question about recollected trauma: who do we believe? The successful father, the mad mother, the unstable teens, the ex-friends, the colleagues, the lovers, the relatives; everyone has their opinions, and everyone wants to be heard. But when the stakes are so high, is it more important to find a rational center or to listen to the girls whose lives have been torn apart and to take them at their word?

This question (and Apekina’s answer) is best summed up with an anecdote: the author has said that one potential agent, in a depressingly status-quo move, suggested that she rewrite the novel from the dad’s perspective. But Apekina utterly rejected the idea that the girls’ father—a best-selling male author who leeches the life out of those around him for inspiration—had any right to have his version of events put down for posterity. This leaves us with the grieving, the young, the victimized, and the mad, and Apekina’s authorial voice telling us that, yes, this is truth. It is contradictory, and it is truth. Believe them.

The Deeper the Water is a dark, brilliant tapestry. It is a murky pool filled with dangerous beasts, their dark bodies just cresting the surface before disappearing into the depths. A stunning and feverishly readable debut, it is destined to send the most easy-going of readers spiraling into a book hangover.

Review originally published at Split Lip Magazine

I'm not sure how this book got onto my radar but I'm so thankful it did. It is a novel of depth and insight, examining the dynamics of a family plagued by loss and mental illness. The characters are fleshed out and the author, Katya Apekina, brings each and every one of them to life.

As the novel begins, Edie, 16 years old, and her sister Mae, 13 years old, are removed from their mother's care in Louisiana and sent to live with their father Dennis in Manhattan. Their mother, Marianne, has been placed in a psychiatric hospital for an unknown length of time. Dennis has not been in the girls' lives for 12 years. Edie feels a tremendous loyalty to her mother and believes that allowing herself any closeness or intimacy with Dennis would be a betrayal to Marianne . On the other hand, Mae is excited by this chance to get to know her father.

Dennis is a literary icon who has not written a best selling book in decades. He was one of the original freedom riders of the 1960's and wrote a novel about this time in his life. Unfortunately, his novel used his perspectives and attitudes towards his friends and peers, not always in a complimentary manner. He tries to write but Marianne was his muse and she hasn't been in his life since he left her 12 years ago.

Once very close, Edie and Mae's relationship becomes more and more conflicted as they navigate their new life without their mother and with a previously absent father. Mae has no previous memories of her father so he becomes an idol in her eyes, someone she wants to love and be loved by. Edie has memories of his leaving and, along with the sense of betrayal, she feels rage and pain. All she can think about is rescuing her mother and going back to their home in Louisiana.

Ms. Apekana's understanding of mental illness is superb. I haven't read such a good portrayal of a family in crisis since 'Housekeeping' by Marilynne Robinson. The descriptions of the girls trying to parent their mother in order to keep their nuclear family together brought tears to my eyes.

The story is told from different perspectives. Mae and Edie are the primary protagonists; then there is Dennis, along with the people who share his life now and those from the past. The novel is structured like a collage, a beautiful piece of art that can be viewed differently depending on the angle and perspective with which it is seen. The author is also well-versed in psychology and mythology, and metaphors are plentiful throughout the narrative.

I can only say that I was shaken to the core by this novel's evolution. It took me to places that spoke to a part of me that most writing never touches. Do yourself a favor. Read this book and recommend it to all your friends.

Stunning. Absolutely stunning. I find it almost unfathomable that this is a debut novel. I can’t wait to see what comes next from Apekina.

Got to think for a minute....this book, these characters.....a debut novel? What?! The complexity, the depth, the darkness.

Rating 3.75

Dark, disturbing read. The title is one that pulls you in. While the story also pulls you in, it can also creep you out. The ending went a bit odd for me and I felt something was missing. I went back and forth between print and audio. A buddy read with Dana and we both were both a bit unsettled after reading it. The author has a new book coming out and I'll read her again. Just hope the subject matter is quite different.

Confuso, difícil y poco creíble. Lo mejor del libro es el título.

I was mesmerized by the sickness permeating from every character, the ones being chewed up and the ones feasting on them. It felt dirty to love this book but I loved it.

“Otra fortísima historia”

En su primera novela, Cuanto más profunda es el agua, más feo es el pez (2020), Katya Apekina nos presenta un intenso drama familiar con una estructura relativamente peculiar.

La relación entre dos complejas personalidades (él escribe novelas, ella poesía), marcada por desequilibrios de edad y de éxito e intensificada con cierta enfermedad mental desencadena un drama de consecuencias gravísimas para toda la familia y en especial para el fruto de esa relación: Edith y Mae, sus dos hijas.

Un relato bastante crudo, sin concesiones, sin inocentes, pero también sin claros culpables, donde Apekina no deja lugar a la compasión y en el que ni siquiera la complejidad estructural de la novela con las constantes idas y venidas en el tiempo, los cambios de estilo en primera persona o esa manera entrecortada de narrar la historia desde las distintas perspectivas de los personajes consiguen apartarte de un argumento en el que varias veces necesitas aferrarte al tema de la enfermedad mental para no dudar de su verosimilitud.

Al terminar su lectura, lo mejor para mí ha sido que me ha hecho plantearme algunas preguntas:

¿Son las personas y sus decisiones las causantes de su infelicidad o son meros detonantes de una fatalidad ya existente, inevitable? Si es así, ¿se les puede considerar culpables?

¿Se debe buscar nuestra felicidad en los demás, aunque sean íntimos? ¿No les estamos así imponiendo una carga excesiva?

¿Es lícito querer que los demás vivan de la forma que para nosotros es la correcta? ¿No estamos así imponiéndoles nuestra visión del mundo?

¿Hay que sentirse culpables de las decisiones de otros, aunque nosotros en cierto modo las hayamos provocado? ¿Quién tiene la responsabilidad última de nuestros actos?

Creo que ya solo por esto recomendaría la novela para aquellos lectores que no busquen historias felices.

Some people should never have children.

Imagine a couple, so passionately in love, but so mentally ill that it causes both of them to break with reality. The father a talented author, the mother his muse, two daughters collateral damage.

This is one of the darkest novels I've read in a while and I can't say I enjoyed it BUT it was propulsive. Told in short chapters with rotating multiple points of view (too many IMHO) the writing is undeniably good, the characterizations strong.

If you love dark themes and small press, this book is for you. I will seek out more Katya Apekina and more Two Dollar Radio (publisher).

I deducted one star because no family has this many mentally ill people.

Als Edies und Maes Mutter versucht, sich umzubringen, werden die Beiden von ihrem Heimatkaff in Louisiana nach New York zu ihrem Schriftstellervater verfrachtet. Während Mae New York und den Aufenthalt bei ihrem Vater als Neuanfang, ja gar als Befreiung versteht, kann Edie sich nicht von ihrer Mutter und ihrem früheren Leben lösen. Sie startet einen Rettungsversuch, während ihre Schwester allein bei ihrem Vater zurückbleibt. Beide versinken immer tiefer in diesem Strudel toxischer Beziehungen - mit fatalen Folgen.

...und nicht nur Edie und Mae sind in diesem Strudel versunken, auch auf mich hatte diese Geschichte eine extreme Sogwirkung! "Je tiefer das Wasser" von Katya Apekina, in Deutscher Übersetzung von Brigitte Jakobeit, hat mich so sehr begeistert, wie es zuvor lange kein Buch mehr geschafft hat. Unglaublich dicht und mit einem permanent aufrechterhaltenen Spannungsbogen erzählt die Autorin von einer Familie, die innerlich zerbrochen ist, von Menschen, die einander in jeder Weise schaden, von psychischen Erkrankungen und der Macht der Kunst. Dabei greift Katya Apekina auf verschiedene Perspektiven und Zeitebenen zurück. Als Leser*in landet man zwar immer wieder bei Mae und Edie, dazwischen finden sich aber auch Briefwechsel zwischen ihren Eltern und anderen (Neben)Figuren des Romans, Interviews, Tagebucheinträge und Zeitungsartikel. Die jeweiligen Betrachtungswinkel sind dabei immer sehr kurz gehalten, was das Lesen für mich fast rauschartig gemacht hat.

Ein Roman, der auf jeder Seite überrascht, durch seine Thematik zutiefst erschüttert und dem man sich an keinem Punkt entziehen kann. Für mich ein wahres Lesehighlight!

To borrow the famous Leo Tolstoy quote, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” And when mental illness is brought into the mix, the family tales become even more differentiated and unique.

The fragmented family in this propulsive debut are parents Marianne—who has barely survived a suicide attempt at the book’s opening—and Dennis, a legendary novelist who is an “emotional vampire”, sucking at the essence of those who love him to fuel his muse. Their two daughters, Edith and Mae, are suddenly forced to live with Dennis after Marianne’s act of desperation.

As readers, we are privy to the alternating views of the headstrong Edith, who only wishes to return to her mentally ill mother, and her dreamy younger sister Mae, who bears an uncanny resemblance to her mother and is drawn to her father. Between these narratives are the voices from ancillary characters, who provide perspective, fill in the blanks for the reader, and serve as a Greek chorus.

It is easy to provide spoilers, which I do not wish to do. I will say this: Mae’s trajectory is piercingly original and totally riveting. I found myself racing through interceding pages to get back to Mae’s narrative, which contains a power that is skin to Kathryn Harrison’s excellent book Exposure. I did not feel quite as connected to Edie’s part. One of the reasons is a personal quirk: when an author introduces a stuttering character, it is best to simply present that the character is a stutterer instead of consistently using prose like, “He says, no she wasn’t b-b-b-beautiful”, which provides undue attention to a secondary character. Edie’s tale was needed to contrast to Mae’s but it paled in power next to it.

The chorus of voices also was not very differentiated. I get it: it is “background noise” for the orations of the two main characters. But I think of Tomas Gonzelez’s book The Storm, which used a similar conceit to much stronger effect.

These criticisms may imply that I did not like the book and that would not be truthful. I thought Katya Apekina wrote a stunningly heartfelt book without shying away from the debris caused by mental illness and unbridled narcissism. While I can’t give it 5 stars, it is a very solid 4-star book.

Whoaaaa, boy. This book goes to some dark places. I picked it up after seeing Ottessa Moshfegh recommend it in a recent article. It clearly fell beneath the radar in 2018, which is a shame because it’s quite good.

As far as families go, it’s hard to get more dysfunctional than this one. Teenage sisters Edie and Mae move in with their estranged father following their mother’s suicide attempt. This chain of events leads each girl down a very different path: Edie, loyal to her mother, can’t stand being around her father, who is a famous novelist and former Civil Rights activist. Mae, on the hand, is so much like her mother that she becomes obsessed with winning her father’s affection, meanwhile spiraling into a psychotic break.

It’s not always easy for a writer to pull off multiple narrators, but Apekina makes it work, alternating not only between Edie and Mae, but also throwing in other first-person accounts of people in this family’s orbit.

The result is a nuanced look at the dark history of the girls’ parents and the fatalistic chaos, madness and destruction that continues to descend upon the four of them.

There were parts of this novel that could have used some editing: certain subplots that just didn’t seem entirely relevant or necessary. But in spite of these minor flaws, this is a bold, assured and captivating debut about mental illness, self-destruction and the possibility of emerging on the other side broken but still whole.

So much to admire here - a heartbreaking, gothic story at the core, with effective and brilliantly executed multiple narrators driving the story forward. A masterclass in fragmentation, organization, and pacing. A knockout. Apekina is one of the best writers we have.